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Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

Let me first start out by saying that I’m a lover of animals. I’ve got a soft heart and I know “they” know it. It’s difficult for me to turn away an animal in need…

And to attest to that fact, I’ve currently got two dogs and 5 indoor cats – all that came to me, by one way or another, with needs or broken pasts.

It drives my adult children crazy that I have so many and they often state that the one thing they’ve learned from me is to never have more than one cat and/or dog. So be it… Crazy dog/cat lady I am then.

Having said that they, my children, have been part of the reason the animal kingdom in my house has grown. Whether they want to realize it or not their hearts are as soft as mine and they have been party to many of the household arrivals over the years. I think it’s easier for them to blame it all on me since I am the one that ultimately cares for the critters.

As I already stated, I have 5 cats and, mind you, not normal cats as cats go…

One young female has severe allergy issues; requires special food and has to be kept separated from the rest of the household to eliminate flare-ups. Her cute, perky little personality and sweet voice keep us fighting in her corner. My son and I often comment how she would have never survived in the “wild” and we are so lucky she found us…

My beautiful rescued Siamese has a mental disorder which causes her to fear closeness and affection. She will only cuddle and snuggle with my pit bull (which makes me happy that she, at least, has someone she feels close to). The vet told me these types are normally put -to-sleep (PTS) as people have no desire to have a cat that eludes them constantly. So sad.. Because of the lack of human and/or cat interaction during her most important days this beauty carries fear constantly in her mind…

My oldest feline is old (nearly 18 years), stately and refined, and defies the limits of aging. She’s as beautiful now as the day we rescued her from being PTS’ d at a shelter many years and states ago. We dearly love her and hope she continues to live forever.

My only male was, quite literally, dumped at my doorstep eight years ago as a feisty, spitting, flea-covered kitten. He’s caused a lot of destruction in my house that I bemoan to this day but on the flip side, he is affectionate; as faithful and companionable as a dog; and has mellowed much in his older years.

Lastly, is our sweet, impish girl who is frightened of thunder and very loud noises and runs frantically through the house seeking shelter when upset. She tends to hog the water bowl, which we feel is directly attributable to her not having enough water when she lived rough.

And, lastly there’s my dogs…

My decrepit old Chihuahua, who doesn’t want to be bothered by anyone, has no teeth but will still try to bite, and is recognized as the “ruler of the roost”; and my spoiled, kind-hearted pit bull, who tries to act tough but is more frightened of you than you are of her. She is mother, protector and companion to all her “kitties” and loves to stand near them so they rub against her legs with their soft fur.

So, with all these needy souls already in my house, I have stated, quite explicitly mind you, “NO MORE ANIMALS!” I couldn’t possibly have room for anymore – it’s just too much!

And then…

Two weeks ago my daughter was visiting and was talking with my son on the front porch late into the night. I’d already gone to bed and was off into dreamland when she burst into my bedroom. “You have to get up and come outside,” she cried. “There’s a little animal outside crying, it needs help! HURRY!”

I stumbled around and made my way to the front porch. I’m wondering what little animal needs help – a deer? A fawn had gotten it’s head stuck in our fence a few weeks back so that was fresh on my mind. I walk out onto the porch and see this skinny tiger and white kitten. HORRORS! Inside I cringe. I hear my son telling me, “He’s really skinny. He just showed up on the porch while we talking. Should I feed him?” I feel sick. Why ME?

All I can see is another cat, another soul to take care of… I just want to go back to bed and forget. I hope IT will go away. I tell my son to go ahead and feed and water him – after all, I’m not cruel and heartless. As I head back to bed my children (those who would never (EVER!) have more than one cat and/dog!) gleefully set about getting food, water and toys. Again, I secretly hope he’s gone in the morning…

The next morning I walk out the front door and see the kitten sleeping on the rug. Sigh… So much for that! He’s getting comfortable. Also, my children inform me, via text message, they have ALREADY named him Odin. Already NAMED HIM!! I fear he’s here to stay…

The first couple of days I try to resist. I state emphatically that he can’t stay; that we need to bring him to the shelter or find another home. I can’t have anymore – I have too many already.

But then my resolve starts to melt… I notice that he is anemic and covered in fleas. I give him a flea bath and put flea medication on him. I give him worming medications and clean his infected ears.

His little personality is already growing on me. He’s lovable, purrs loudly and loves to be pet. I start to look forward to going out to the front porch, looking for him and spending time just playing and relaxing with him.

I buy him a breakaway collar – which he hated, at first, but I loved. It has a little bell attached and I can hear him padding around and know he is safe and close.

One morning I go out and he is no where to be found for two hours. I really got concerned – he has never been gone that long! I am amazed at myself at how attached I have grown to this little guy! As I begin to lose heart and think he’s been captured (by other humans), injured or worse I hear frantic kitten cries coming from a distance away. I call for him and he finally runs up the hill and to the porch and I can tell that he is so happy to see me! I don’t know what little adventure he had been on but he stays close to me and his purring is loud and pleasurable. And, boy, am I glad to have him back!

As the weeks have gone by Odin’s anemia has vastly improved and he has gained considerable weight. As such, an appointment has been made to get him neutered and get all his shots. He will be the “outside” cat but will be properly taken care of, of course.

Life is not perfect with Odin… He and I silently fight over his destruction of my potted plants – a battle that I have yet to win. But if that is the worst of his evils I guess can live with that… And I worry (about him being outside) but I am trying to live in the moment of him…

His cute tiny and silent meows.
The way he stares deep into your eyes with such adoration.
How he tromps around the yard with the dogs looking so big and yet so small.
How he saves us from bugs and spiders and leaves their carcasses all over the porch.
The way he politely sits and watches, with fascination and respect, the hummingbirds at their feeders.

Odin’s favorite toy is a fabric ball, which he constantly plays with, batting it and carrying it to and fro on the porch. I hope the skills learned with it will carry over into him being a good mouser!

My pit bull is in doggy heaven. She now has kitties IN and OUT of the house. She loves to pin Odin down and clean his little body like a mother, which Odin willingly lets her do. And she lets Odin play with her tail and ears as she lays on the porch floor. They hunt together for bugs and creatures in the grass, which is endearing to watch. And they often sit, side-by-side, at the top of the porch stairs and just stare at whatever animals stare at. Odin has changed even my dogs world…

How will this end? I really don’t know but there’s obviously room in my heart and home (porch) for Odin. Having an outside cat concerns me greatly but I’m hoping he’ll be one of those that sticks close to the house or I’ll end up being worried, hanging around outside longer than necessary, listening for that bell.

Little Odin came here because he needed me and I’m glad I am able to be here for him. He was a great and unexpected joy – isn’t that always the way that it is?

Though, again, I say, almost laughingly and with less conviction than previously, as I watch Odin play with his fabric ball, “No more…” And I need to find that sign that is posted somewhere out there that reads, “NEEDY, SICK OR UNWANTED – APPLY HERE” and pull it up.

Odin

Odin

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Facebook UnlikeSo many people ask me to “like” them on Facebook. When I am asked this I cringe… I just “don’t do Facebook.”

I know many feel it’s a great social platform and they use it to communicate their businesses and social networking causes… After all, statistics show that Facebook is the largest online social networking site.

I used to use Facebook, at least for a couple of years, but I bailed out, haven’t looked back and I really don’t regret it.

The reason why I don’t like Facebook (and subsequently dumped it) was due to a multitude of reasons…

One: People, close to you, get carried away, there’s too much drama and color. They tell everything – what they ate, what their kid did in the toilet, where they are going, they engage in colorful online disagreements, etc. I really don’t care to know what they are doing all the time or want to be part of the negativity in their lives. I know some people love that stuff – I don’t.

Two: I enjoyed, initially, hooking up with people that I hadn’t seen in ages, like people from high school; it was kinda cool. Then, I started to realize after a time, I really wasn’t friends with them in school – I didn’t really know them then and I don’t really know them now – it was all so false. Seemed people were grappling for NUMBERS – how many people followed them. So, I guess, the second thing I didn’t like was all the falseness and there seemed an abundance of it – from everyone!

Three: I began to realize how much PERSONAL information was being pumped into Facebook and I read stories and articles about how government agencies (and other undesirables) were using Facebook as a data mining site. That didn’t sit well with me and I certainly didn’t want to be part of the party. That actually sealed my decision to abort…

But, maybe it was also due to age…

I’m not afraid to admit it!small facesmall face

Some more Facebook statistics shows that the average Facebook user is between the ages of 35-44 years of age and I left 44 in the dust some time ago…

Anyways, nowadays, when I tell people I “don’t do Facebook” it’s like a social faux pas…

People act shocked or dismayed; they plead with me to reconsider; they delete me on other social platforms. Over Facebook! Get REAL!!

I’ve lost friends, both virtual and real, because I “don’t do Facebook.” I find that totally unbelievable…

But I really don’t care. I don’t like Facebook and even though I politely tell them so, they don’t know how to graciously accept it.

So I ask, as apparently I do not know how…

How does one politely tell someone that you “don’t do Facebook“?

And, even more so, how does one do so, so that the other person does not go off in a huff, personally offended as it is, just because you don’t?

It’s a mystery to me but, obviously, people take their Facebook very seriously…

Seductive Facebook

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I find I like being unemployed… At least right now.

I can do things I haven’t been able to do in, like, forever.

Like read. And I enjoy reading. Fiction, non-fiction, fantasy – I read a lot and have a lot of books.

I can lost in reading. Hours go by. I can get comfortable in my bed or on the couch with a book, read for a while, take a nap, and then read some more… It’s like heaven!

The other thing I REALLY like is that there’s no rushing around. No where to be. When I was working I was ALWAYS rushing around.

Up by the clock, out by the clock, everything by a clock. Now I forget there’s a clock. I often forget what day it is! I really like that too.

And I can watch movies or shows on my streaming device for hours or spend time just hanging out with my pets. It’s my time, for a change, and it’s really cool!

It can’t last forever – I do search for job positions regularly during the week and, at some point, something will coalesce and then I’ll be back rushing around, living life by the clock again…

But, in the meantime, I’m just enjoying being unemployed, kicking back, chilling, getting some “me” time…

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pcwscreensavI often sit on my back porch, weather permitting, and watch the overhead night sky.

What I look for, in particular, are these rapidly moving lights that look like stars, but are not stars and are not planes and are not satellites. I call them flying stars.

I know they are not planes because planes have distinctive lights and do not fly that high.

I know they are not satellites because I use a satellite map and satellites are never in the area that I see these flying stars.

And I know they are not stars because, well, stars don’t really fly.

Unfortunately, I don’t see them all the time.

Some nights I might see one or other nights, a few. Many nights, none at all.

Sometimes they are really faint and other times they are quite bright.

Regardless, they fascinate me because I believe they are not of this world.

They move too fast and are too high up in the atmosphere.

If they are terrestrial-based then there are quite a few secrets being kept from us.

Their paths are never quite straight though they tend to go from east to west or north to south.

Sometimes they just stop… And then suddenly, start moving again.

I find them totally fascinating and practically break my neck watching them.

And I wonder what they really are…

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feel goodToday I decided I would stop on my way to work and get a cup of coffee at my local Starbucks. This is not something I do on a regular basis – I was in the mood.

I pulled up to the speaker, ordered, and pulled forward; I was the third car in line to the window. The line progressed quickly and I watched as the car in front of me stopped at the window. The guy in the car started to hand the girl at the window his card and stopped. Obviously, there was some conversation. She handed him his beverage, they completed his transaction, and he pulled forward.

I moved up to the window and as I did I noticed that the guy in the car ahead of me was waving at me. At me? Didn’t make sense. I looked behind me to see if he was waving at someone behind me. The guy in the vehicle directly behind wasn’t even looking. Hmm. I noticed the guy in the car in front was looking at me in his side mirror, smiling and waving. I didn’t immediately recognize him, but then again…

Well, the girl was at the window now and I focused on her. She reiterated my order, I told her that was correct and started to hand her my card. She told me the guy in the car in front of me had paid for my coffee so.. no need to pay. Confusion – why I asked her?

She explained that everyone that morning was paying for the coffee of the person behind them; I wasn’t obligated to continue, but that was how the morning was going. Wow, I thought. I asked her what the order behind me was – she told me. I quickly thought I am not going to be the one to break this, even if it was twice my order cost, and handed her my card – I’ll pay for it, I told her. She laughed, took my card, and shortly handed me back my card and receipt.

“You have a great day,” she said. “You, too,” I replied and pulled forward.

As I pulled away I waved to the guy behind me knowing that he hadn’t a clue on who I was and why I was waving. I drove up to the stop sign and looked back. I saw the girl talking to the next customer; he looked confused. I smiled and thought, I hope he doesn’t break this feel good feeling…

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confessionHave something you need to get off your conscience? There are plenty of websites where you can anonymously post information, and in some cases receive hugs, with the goal of reducing your stress, relieving your conscience, and obtaining absolution from your peers. Here’s a few sites to check out and find out which is best for your confession platform:

Group Hug

Anonymous Confession

Anonymous Confessions

Confessions4U

Experience Project: Confessions

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Statistics…

statisticsI am currently taking a graduate level statistics course – not by choice, mind you… It is frustrating and quite confusing at times. I have several more weeks to go before the class is over and the pressure is on. Not only do we have to attain a passing grade, but it must be a B or above or we have to retake it. So, needless to say, I’ve been buried in my books trying to absorb information, digits, and formulas. And we have to learn this because…?

AARRGGHH!!!

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